When First We Met

I Had Not the Words

William Spivey
3 min readJun 12, 2024


Photo by Fray Bekele on Unsplash

When we first met, I didn't have the words. I don’t mean I didn’t have the vocabulary; mine was extensive enough. I knew the definitions of all the words and their spellings as well, but I didn't have them.

When we first met, I lacked the courage. The fear of rejection kept me from pursuing what truly challenged me. Instead, I settled for what was less hard.

When we first met, I had not the wisdom. I had not learned that having was not always as pleasing as wanting and that being able to do a thing doesn’t mean one should.

When we first met, I wasn’t a man. Perhaps fully developed, but not having yet unlearned the destructive traits ingrained by society and peer pressure. I was far too concerned about others' perceptions instead of knowing and following my own mind.

When we met, I only thought I knew the Lord. I attended church, could quote scripture, knew the parables, and sang the songs. I didn’t yet have a true relationship with God and make Him a part of each day.

When we first met, I wanted you. That never changed. I want you still, but if I had obtained what I sought, I might have too easily disregarded its value, thinking the goal had already been achieved.