What Do You Do With Itsy, Bitsy, Diamond Earrings?
As pictured, these earrings appear to be about twice as large as they are in reality. They’re tiny, and I can’t imagine anyone opening the box, expecting jewelry, and not be disappointed. One would-be recipient told me that they would slide right through the existing holes in her ears.
You might reasonably ask how I came to possess a pair of studs with minuscule diamonds attached? I’ve been forbidden from relating much of the story for reasons that are unclear to me. Why is it that she can post a picture on Facebook, yet I, a writer, can’t write about my life? I wasn’t banned from writing about the earrings, though, so I’ll tell that story without revealing that which cannot be told. Here is the publicly available picture I referred to, which technically I’m reposting. That isn’t a violation.
So, I recently made a purchase, and the retailer has a standing offer that for any purchase of over $1,500, the buyer gets a free pair of diamond earrings. I didn’t make the purchase (shown in the photo above) based on the earrings. It was sort of a bonus, one that I was sure would make me look better in the eyes of the recipient. I now realize that as my purchase was well over the minimum amount, I should have asked for earrings three to four times the size of what I got, of maybe four sets of earrings to give to granddaughters. I was quite happy with the primary purchase, which was sufficient to get the desired response. But I can’t talk about that, so back to the earrings.
It so happened that a few days after, I gave the primary gift to the love of my life. My youngest daughter was having a birthday; normally, diamond earrings might have made a lovely gift. I took a second look at the tiny earrings to consider them as a birthday gift. I decided my daughter deserved better, so that was out. I reflected on giving them to one of my grandchildren. I have eight with another on the way, all girls. Likely, the very youngest one might not be worldly enough to look askance at a gift of diamonds. Giving them to one grandchild might create jealously among the others even though they might not want them for themselves. I decided not to give them to anyone else, giving them to the recipient of the primary gift, who indicated she might not be ashamed to place them in the smaller piercings in her upper ear lobe. It’s been weeks now, and they still haven’t come out of the box.
The lady in question (she’ll have a new title and last name in a couple of months) has usually felt free to post Facebook pictures of various other gifts I’ve gotten her. Flowers got posted, special meals, and, of course, the primary gift. No such photo exists for the tiny earrings. Perhaps she was considerate of me, saving me the scorn and ridicule from social media at having not only found the world’s smallest earrings. But putting them in a box as of they were real jewelry. Maybe the shame was hers for agreeing to share a life with someone who could give such a gift. Surely it came from a box of Cracker Jacks or was sold by a bootleg diamond vendor on the side of the road?
In retrospect, the diamond earrings should have never seen the light of day. I could have gone on a cruise and thrown them into the ocean, replicating a scene from “Titanic.” I could have thrown them out or made an anonymous gift to some charity. It’s too late for second-guessing; the earrings aren’t the main thing. The only reason I bring them up is because the main thing is off-limits.
If you wish to congratulate me for no particular reason, I silently thank you without us ever discussing why. Please don’t ask me about the silly smile always on my face because I won’t explain why. Just know that I’m happier than I can remember, maybe I’ll be able to write about it.