Member-only story
The Omnipresent Fear of Being Raped or Sexually Assaulted
Why This Fear Has Never Been Eradicated
How much do you worry about being raped? I can’t recall any point in my life where I had this concern. Not that it couldn’t happen to a big, Black man, though my size offers some degree of self-assurance. I’ve never been much of a fighter, but my point is that I haven’t been in a position where I even conceived of having that type of fight. After age five, I was in a safe environment; before that, I didn’t know any better. I looked like someone you didn’t want to try in my adult life.
In contrast, most women I know have been in situations where they’ve feared being raped or sexually assaulted. My wife has shared a story about being given a date rape drug while at a happy hour with her girlfriends. Fortunately, she was able to reach her then-husband, who got to her in time to prevent an attack. Women must be ever alert to their circumstances, even in places and environments one might consider safe. Women have been raped in their workplace, at school, in police cars, at their dentist or doctor’s office, and most likely in their own homes. It’s not as if women can avoid places where rapes occur; they happen everywhere. Boys and men get raped as well in environments as diverse as prisons and churches, but the risk isn’t nearly the same.
